Worry

I'm saying some extra prayers tonight, because I spoke to Dad and W and found out that Dad is having eye surgery tomorrow on his "good" eye. He had surgery 2 years ago (I think it was 2009) on the other eye to repair a tear and remove cataracts. He has five cataracts he is going to have removed tomorrow and I think he said they will be replacing his lens with a high tech one. In his 70s now, I have to keep reminding myself that Dad is getting old. He seems ageless to me. After Mom died in 2001, I was so worried about him, afraid of the loneliness that would engulf him. My parents were really just kids when they married-Mom 17, Dad 20. Mom was only 18 when she had my oldest brother, and only 26 when she had us twins (we were babies six and seven).

Then he met W and after a quick romance they married. W is the best ever. Not really a stepmom inasmuch as we were all out of the house long before she and Dad married, she is more like my friend. Actually, she reminds me an awful lot of Mom, which is saying a lot and is meant as a huge compliment. She is kind, patient, thoughtful, up for anything, doesn't complain, and finds joy in the everyday. It must be hard on her to sit in the hospital and wait for news while her husband is having his eye worked on. I'm not a fan of hospitals, although I used to work in Irwin Army Hospital's laboratory for nearly five years. It's different when you are there as a family member, waiting for word on the one you love. I am never reassured by all the well meaning phrases "it's routine" "he's done this procedure dozens/hundreds of times" and the worst of all "try not to worry". I've been on the outside waiting for word and I've been the one getting the surgery... and there is no doubt in my mind-horrible recuperation or not, I'd rather be the one on the operating table.

As I was talking to Dad, I made sure to tell him over and over how much I loved him. I don't think we tell the people we love that often enough. It shouldn't take a medical procedure to just let him know he's in my heart, although Dad will be the first one to assure me that he knows he is loved by all his children. It means a whole lot to me when my three sons tell me they love me.

Love you Dad, you are in my prayers, tonight and always.